Tuesday, December 14, 2010

current state of being / sanity/ urge to kill

I found out to day that someone i work with's sister died last week. I do not like this person She is one of several reasons i transferred departments. But here is the thing

I felt no sympathy for her at all. I have lost many loved ones over the past years and  I always feel sad/ sympathy for people when they loose someone even if i don't care for that person.

That was not the case today I realized that i am slipping further and further away into the void of nothingness.

I felt no compassion for the loss of a human life that i can put a name to. that disturbs me because I feel it violates one of the 3 tenets of my belief system(more to come on a later post).  The fact that i am feeling less and less connected to people is not a good thing it paves the way for my asshole nature to do whatever it wants and i have no idea where that will lead.